People in love make me want to vomit
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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