he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
