I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
