***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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