Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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