Kiss
Puke
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize