Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.