I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?