i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.