where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
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so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite