They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You were trust falling into bushes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.