I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
