You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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