You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize