At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
