you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
