have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
