I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize