he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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