I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hippo gnu deer
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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