dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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