a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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