so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
