i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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