tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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