so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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