So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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