She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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