mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
