I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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