fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
