so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
