My room smells like vodka and shame
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
