Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
