wrigley field is MILF paradise
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
