At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i think i just lost a toe
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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