we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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