My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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