dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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