Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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