I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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