I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize