I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We're too hungover to prance.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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