Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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