can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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