I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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