I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
