i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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