i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
