do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
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The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
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Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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