I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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