I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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