I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I CAN MOONWALK!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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