Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i think my cat just said my name.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
