she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
