they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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