Your tits are I can't wait for
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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