Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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