I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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