He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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