You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize