come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
