You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
