ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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