I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
accomplished twins. life is a go
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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